The 2018 Ultimate Last Minute Holiday Gift Guide
You should never buy people what they want for Christmas, buy them what they need for Christmas. With countless hours spent surfing spammy websites and giving my computer four different viruses, I’ve...
View ArticleNo More TP For Your Bunghole
We’ve wrapped your silky skin, sat on your face, and even cradled your family jewels… Now We’re Going Where No Clothing Brand Has Gone Before. That’s right, we’ve got a luxurious pressure washer for...
View ArticleHow to Make a White Elephant Party Suck Less
Everyone feels the same about gift exchanges except for 20% of the population. It’s that 20% of the population who force everyone else to attend their White Elephant party each year. If you don’t want...
View ArticleSave Money On Gifts: The Best Science-Based Hacks of 2018
Since I’m a millennial, I naturally have the inclination to ask the following question: “Is Christmas a real holiday? Or was it created by Corporate America to increase the bottom line before the end...
View ArticleBest Places To Make A September Baby
The holiday season is in full swing and while it might be cold outside, things are heating up in doors. Fires are a burnin, spiked nog is a brewin’, and all those layers you put on to brave the bite of...
View ArticleHow to Dodge the Inevitable NYE Kiss
The clock strikes 12 and all of a sudden you’re mouth-to-mouth with a 5/10. Their tongue is invading you in ways you never imagined. Their sweaty forehead just touched your cheek and you don’t know...
View ArticleGet Out of Going to Work: A Foolproof Guide to Lying
If going into work on January 2nd makes you feel like this: …then it’s time to start thinking of excuses to get one more day off work. When I was a kid I lied about everything and once people believed...
View ArticleWhat to do with Your Dead Christmas Tree
Imagine this: You spend everyday surrounded by your beautiful friends and family. You’re happy, healthy, and can’t wait to see where life takes you. Then, suddenly a family of humans comes and chops...
View ArticleEveryone’s Dumb After the Holidays: How to Re-teach Yourself How to do Your Job
You sit down at your desk; your ankles are bloated, your joints are aching, and you soon realize you have the brain capacity of a four year old. It’s your first day back at work and you suddenly have...
View ArticleYour 2018 Football Team Sucks: 50 Things to do on a Sunday
Fifty percent of your team is injured, coaches have been fired, tears have been shed, TVs have been broken, and Skip Bayless is still everyone’s least favorite person. Your team didn’t make playoffs,...
View ArticleBeginning a Diet After New Years: As Told by Guy Fieri
A majority of people wake up on January 1st feeling like absolute garbage. Everyone has survived an entire month of living off wine, cookies, and gravy. There’s a reason January is the time for gyms to...
View ArticleWhat to Wear for Thanksgiving No Matter Who You Spend It With
Aside from being the busiest travel weekend of the year, Thanksgiving is also known for some other things. It reminds us of how lucky we are to live where we do, and to give thanks for all we have,...
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